My Journey to Shodan
By Jerome Brand
至誠天に通ず (Shiseiten ni tsuu zu)
“Sincerity can move the Heavens.”
How it all began…
Two years ago, when I was a 23 year old college student, I began training in Japanese Swordsmanship, specifically the art of Battodo at Zentokan Dojo here in Brooklyn, New York. Before I even walked through the dojo doors I always found Japanese swords and swordsmanship to be very fascinating thanks to my favorite anime titles like Samurai Champloo, Rurouni Kenshin, and Afro Samurai. So I naturally jumped at the chance when I found a school near me, although I was very anxious in the beginning because of the potential change it could have on my life. Soon I found myself enrolled as a member of the dojo, attending class at least once a week. For me training in battodo presented a great opportunity to do something physically active and mentally challenging. Also… who wouldn’t want to learn to swing a sword like Kenshin?
What's Shodan?
For those who do not practice Battodo, the dan system is a ranking system set in place to measure one’s skill in that school or art. Our chief instructor has remarked that gradings and competitions are great ways to test your abilities because they can provide an opportunity to perform under stress. You see, while going about everyday life we don't usually feel intense stress most of the time. But since you're testing in front of judges and your peers you can feel a great deal more pressure than what you're used to.
“ The pressure we face (or create) in these situations can be a powerful teacher, offering lasting personal evolution and growth for those willing to sit with the inherent discomfort.”
I have an inkling to what my sensei refers to since at the time of writing I've already completed a number of gradings for my dojo called the kyu gradings, similar to the dan rankings. It's a system Zentokan put in place to help students prepare for the dan gradings that come later. In retrospect it was a stressful endeavor going through these gradings because there was the fear of messing up and making a fool of myself in front of my instructors and peers. But I was able to get through it by remaining calm and just doing what I had to do the way I was taught to do it. So exams like these not only test physical abilities and knowledge but the ability to perform under stress as well.
What does Shodan mean to me?
Before I was tested for my multiple kyu gradings and my shodan exam, there were many things I had to learn and work on. Examples include basic skills like ‘batto’ (drawing the sword out of the sheath), chakin shibori (a subtle use of the hands to help stop my sword during a cut), and ‘ki ken tai ichi’ (unification of my energy, sword, and body). Learning Battodo has been mentally challenging because not only am I learning Japanese terms but because I also have to understand the concepts behind them. Also, swordsmanship at the end of the day is a physical activity of course so my endurance is tested as well during class, especially when we do exercises that place is in strenuous positions or stances for long periods of time.
Over the last couple years my understanding of my own body has increased and I now know what muscle groups to use while training (it's not about having big muscles or a six pack). Honestly, after sticking with this niche hobby for two years I've gone through more emotional and mental changes than physical. My folks tell me I'm more cheerful than before and I've gained a little more kigurai (confidence) in myself.
As I prepared for my latest exam I was reminded of something Michael sensei asked me before an earlier grading. He said, “Jerome, before you agree to take the exam, I want you to consider what would it mean if you don’t pass. What would failing change for you?”
I pondered that question a few days before my exam and I've kept pondering it months after passing too. The conclusion I've come to is “Nothing, failing changes nothing at all.” I know it sounds weird, but after thinking and reflecting I realized that a failure here and there doesn't really reflect or affect who I am at the end of the day. Even if I pass this exam I will still be Jerome, and at every stage of my training I'm still going to grow and change regardless of my difficulties and triumphs. Thinking of it like that, it doesn't matter if I pass or fail; every test is just another stop on the road of my journey to become a better person.
Moving forward, this is how I will look at success and failure: with sincerity.
